Everyday is not same, not your feelings. Everyone has different thought process and encounters different emotional behavior in various circumstances. This story is about a moment in a girl's life when she doesn't know what to do with her life.
Things haven't been so good so far in my life.
Initially I thought that life is throwing challenges on my way. I accepted them and played along. Whenever I feel that life is trying to turn me down, I see Sun rise in the morning from the window of my room. Its calmness (you can keep watching it for long which is quite impossible to do at any other point of time of the day), its colorful surroundings, its fascinating mystery in the universe and its importance in everyone's life fills me with the positive energy.
I smile with this thought popping in my mind that this beautiful morning will give me sufficient courage to fight with any problem, today I am sure I will find a solution and my problems will end for ever. Although this never happens, yet I smile every morning with the arrival of same thought again.
I know doing this is tough and unrealistic. When my problems remains unsolved during the day, my pain starts increasing with the rising temperature of afternoon. My power and my energy burns like Sun.
I feel enormous pain in my whole body which becomes irresistible for me as the day progresses towards its end and this heated sun looses its brightness into complete darkness. My strength gives up with the thought that if the sun can loose who am I ? A simple girl, who has ever lived in her dream world and could never see life beyond her self-obsessed vision. Now, when its time to face the world, this society and people whom I never cared in my entire life, suddenly surrounds me with thousands of questions which I find myself unable to answer.
Sun dissolves completely into dark and I broke down with the fact that I am the cause for every problem that I am stuck into today. I want to hide myself somewhere in this dark so that no one would see me and I will not have to face anyone. In this comprehensive and hollow fear of mine, I think of every option which can trash my life and protect me from everything and everyone i am supposed to belong.
I simply do not find the courage to see beyond this depressing darkness and want to dissolve into it. but still to my surprise, there is something which never let my fear take any drastic step about my life. I try again but I am stopped every time. Something suppresses my fear and force me to walk in this endless road of life again. I could never understand this. I want to find it out. It could be the expectation of my family from me. It could be my love for my life because this is rarest thing on earth.
Every night I fight with all these thoughts and sleep. When I get up, I see this beautiful sun again and I smile. I smile with this thought that if sun can fight entire evening and night with darkness to lighten up the world in the next morning again, why can't I fight with my fear and overcome with my problems. I smile and move on.
