Who you are ?

You are no one to me,

Your existence doesn't matter to me,

You are visibly invisible in my life,

I don't even care who you are,

but, then, who you are ?

Why should i even bother to think of you,

Why should i even care to know you,

Why should i call or message you,

but, then, who the hell are you ?

I call you fucking bastard,

You call me chichori girl,
Deadly combination that should not exists,
lives right across the street,

You have arrived in my life from no where

Sucking me, fucking me every where,

You like nothing about me,

I hate hearing your cheap talks and eager lies,

I can't tolerate you for one moment in my life,

But, you have got this seductive killing smile,

I fight with you like anything,

I still always allows you to come in,

I despise you each season,

But, can not ignore these two reasons,

On this lonely planet, when i had no one,

You came and fastened your arms around me,
You hold my hand to drop me home safely,

When i was quite high in this unknown city,

No matter how i am, you always respond back,
That momentarily warmth has soften my heart, 

I couldn't stop myself to thank you for the first time,
I don't recognize you anymore in the frame of dim light,

It's no mirage that i have nothing but contempt for you,

I still want to ask you who the hell are you ? !!! :-)

I Exist With You !!!

You are my life,
You are my smile,
You are every breath that i take,
You are each step that i make,

You are in each and everything that surrounds me,
Even if you are not around, i feel you everywhere
I feel you inside me, like you are part of me, my body, my soul,
I don't exist without you,
I and you are always together, even when i am alone, and you are some where else,
I exist with you,
Your love is my identity, i am no one but you,
I am mere reflection of you, and you are of mine,
I and you are two bodies with one soul, inseparable, 

I smile, i am fascinated,
I am attracted to you by the string of love that you pull,
The harmony, the positive attitude that you bring along with you,
My soul is soaked in the color of yours

No matter, how much i try to stay away from you,
I can't, you are like an addiction to me,
Few hours away from you looks like a decade to me,
You are in front of me just few inches apart,
But the distance looks like miles,
I want to hug you, i want to kiss you,
But i can't, people are staring at us,
The feelings, the frequency of love,
Our heart is emitting is irresistible,
I smile, I laugh, I shy, I shine when i am with you,
I still say, i am in love with you !!!

One Smile Says It All !!!

My recent visit to a temple in my home town ... !!!
You all must be thinking that i am very religious person and what so special about this temple? 

Let me be honest here ... my reasons to visit this particular temple are not limited to pray, this temple undoubtedly gives me eternal solace to my soul and my mind that i could feel a connection with not only the deity but the little kids who come here every Tuesday to collect the prasad from the visitors for their family members.

Carrying the most innocent smile on their faces, these kids take my heart away. They don't have any luxurious facilities to live, some of their parents might even be struggling to survive. These pure, sinless souls, unwary by any corruption on earth looks radiant, no lesser than the deity itself.

(Sorry for not so good pic)

After my conversation with the deity, :-) i usually sit on the stairs outside from where i can see all these kids, and some times i sit with them. When i ask which class you are studying in, some of them shy and don't even answer, then their friends would answer on their behalf. 

Yesterday it was quite amusing when i sat in middle of these kids and the visitors when they stopped by me in the row, took few seconds to come out of the dilemma if they should give me prasad or skip by. They would be thinking this girl doesn't look underprivileged in a branded Jeans, T-shirt and that too with a laptop bag and a mobile in her hand. When they decide and extend their hand to give me prasad, i receive it with all the grace and with a smile :-)

I had taken my friend with me to this temple yesterday and i was coming up with some or other idea to make these kids smile more. I am just keeping my attitude positive and i hope things would fall in place.

Since We Last Met ... !!!

Many years have passed since we last met
But, It seems,
I am still standing outside that iron gate
where you left me alone
Never to turn back and look at me
I walk alone in these lifeless roads
Waiting for you to come back and hold me

My eyes want to have one glimpse of yours
To repaint your image in my eyes
To check you out how do you look like now
To remind me once more that you are real,
To hold you and ask you,
When you know, i fear darkness,
I fear this loneliness,
I fear a moment without you
then, why you left me alone,

I am waiting for you from years now,

But, you, you don't come back.

My eyes are immobile on these roads,
as if turned to stone now,
Watching patiently every figure
To find that it's not you,

Yet, i find a speck of hope in my eyes,
This hope rises to its peak and die every day, and,
Then it is reborn with the same expectation,
To see you once more,
My eyes brighten with the existing image of yours, and,
I hope to meet you again !!!

Speechless !!!

Jaan, I want to say something to you,
I know exactly what i want to say,
I know what i am feeling right now,
I have known these feeling for long time, But,
I could never find the right words to express my feelings,

Feelings that I and you share together,
Feelings of love & care, affection & obsession, possessiveness & freedom,
Feelings that make our relation stronger than ever,

I know what you want to ask, why ?
Why i need the words now,
When feelings says it all.

Feelings which have always been here,
In each and every action of mine,
But, could never reach my lips,
Though you keep telling me the same effortlessly,
Countless number of times a day,
I could never say it,
Words always freeze in my mouth, and,
I just hear a blow of air coming from my mouth,
Bewildering on my own behavior,
I am always in search of right words,
Words that can touch the depth of my feelings for you,

How many times, I just say 'Jaan', and,
I start looking at your face,
Without making a moment of delay,
You simply acknowledge me with 'haan jaan',
Like you understand my struggle to say this,
Your eyes showing enormous love for me,
You empathizing me on my inability to say this,
You smile and distract me with my thoughts,

Today with all my efforts, i want to say,
Jaan, I love you, in all the way i can love you.
Each moment of my life is meant to love you,
I don't know anything now but to love you,
Jaan, if you deep dive in my heart,
you will find only you.
Since the moment i met you and till my last breath,
I love you and i will love you.

You are mine ... !!!

O my beloved, You are my world to me,
You mean everything to me,

You fill my heart with love and happiness,
You have given my soul solace and completeness,

You enlighten me with your divine energy,
You hold my hand and walk me to the path to humanity,

I dream more and more with you, and,
Each one of my dream is equally important to you,

You bring all my dreams to existence,
You converge my efforts to my destinations,

You call me with different names,
Each name highlights my personality and attributes,

You stand by me every time i seek for you,
You caresses me like a child, a lover and wife of you,

You keep all your promises, no matter what happens,
I am your topmost priority and you have gained my respect,

You are the one i am getting older with,
You are my life and you are the one i want to die with !!!