Silent Emotions !!!

Why I become so cold like a stone in front of you,
Quite like the silence will never fall apart,

In this silence, my eyes meet yours,
Those small, bright, deep eyes of yours,
shine with such shrewdness like they want to hypnotize me,
But, I don't feel any hint of emotions flowing in my eyes,
I just blatantly see you,

With this sharp, killer, seductive smile of yours,
You smile at me,
And, I know at that very moment,
That you know that I am so helpless,
I don't ask you,
I don't resist you either, and,
We talk in silence without saying a word,

Then, you take a step forward,
And put your hand on my back,
You pull me closer to you,
My heart doesn't race a bit,
My breath remains normal,
I am still looking at you with my expression less gaze,
You smile once more,
And release me from your arms,
Then you pull me towards you with more stronger force,
You look into my eyes and ask why ?

I hesitate to answer,
I want you to feel the same struggle,
Baffle and bewilder on the misery,
Misery to solve the puzzle of your own thoughts,
To give them a working direction,
To wait and wait for it unless you have the answer,

I still dither, But,
I don't want you to keep in the same prison I am living in,
I free you from this misery and I say,
I have never known if I hate you more or I like you more,
What I know is
My hatred for you has never overwhelmed the fact that I like you,
I smile at you,
You finally release me from you arms,
Only to understand and love me more !!!

Who you are ?

You are no one to me,

Your existence doesn't matter to me,

You are visibly invisible in my life,

I don't even care who you are,

but, then, who you are ?

Why should i even bother to think of you,

Why should i even care to know you,

Why should i call or message you,

but, then, who the hell are you ?

I call you fucking bastard,

You call me chichori girl,
Deadly combination that should not exists,
lives right across the street,

You have arrived in my life from no where

Sucking me, fucking me every where,

You like nothing about me,

I hate hearing your cheap talks and eager lies,

I can't tolerate you for one moment in my life,

But, you have got this seductive killing smile,

I fight with you like anything,

I still always allows you to come in,

I despise you each season,

But, can not ignore these two reasons,

On this lonely planet, when i had no one,

You came and fastened your arms around me,
You hold my hand to drop me home safely,

When i was quite high in this unknown city,

No matter how i am, you always respond back,
That momentarily warmth has soften my heart, 

I couldn't stop myself to thank you for the first time,
I don't recognize you anymore in the frame of dim light,

It's no mirage that i have nothing but contempt for you,

I still want to ask you who the hell are you ? !!! :-)

I Exist With You !!!

You are my life,
You are my smile,
You are every breath that i take,
You are each step that i make,

You are in each and everything that surrounds me,
Even if you are not around, i feel you everywhere
I feel you inside me, like you are part of me, my body, my soul,
I don't exist without you,
I and you are always together, even when i am alone, and you are some where else,
I exist with you,
Your love is my identity, i am no one but you,
I am mere reflection of you, and you are of mine,
I and you are two bodies with one soul, inseparable, 

I smile, i am fascinated,
I am attracted to you by the string of love that you pull,
The harmony, the positive attitude that you bring along with you,
My soul is soaked in the color of yours

No matter, how much i try to stay away from you,
I can't, you are like an addiction to me,
Few hours away from you looks like a decade to me,
You are in front of me just few inches apart,
But the distance looks like miles,
I want to hug you, i want to kiss you,
But i can't, people are staring at us,
The feelings, the frequency of love,
Our heart is emitting is irresistible,
I smile, I laugh, I shy, I shine when i am with you,
I still say, i am in love with you !!!

Since We Last Met ... !!!

Many years have passed since we last met
But, It seems,
I am still standing outside that iron gate
where you left me alone
Never to turn back and look at me
I walk alone in these lifeless roads
Waiting for you to come back and hold me

My eyes want to have one glimpse of yours
To repaint your image in my eyes
To check you out how do you look like now
To remind me once more that you are real,
To hold you and ask you,
When you know, i fear darkness,
I fear this loneliness,
I fear a moment without you
then, why you left me alone,

I am waiting for you from years now,

But, you, you don't come back.

My eyes are immobile on these roads,
as if turned to stone now,
Watching patiently every figure
To find that it's not you,

Yet, i find a speck of hope in my eyes,
This hope rises to its peak and die every day, and,
Then it is reborn with the same expectation,
To see you once more,
My eyes brighten with the existing image of yours, and,
I hope to meet you again !!!

Speechless !!!

Jaan, I want to say something to you,
I know exactly what i want to say,
I know what i am feeling right now,
I have known these feeling for long time, But,
I could never find the right words to express my feelings,

Feelings that I and you share together,
Feelings of love & care, affection & obsession, possessiveness & freedom,
Feelings that make our relation stronger than ever,

I know what you want to ask, why ?
Why i need the words now,
When feelings says it all.

Feelings which have always been here,
In each and every action of mine,
But, could never reach my lips,
Though you keep telling me the same effortlessly,
Countless number of times a day,
I could never say it,
Words always freeze in my mouth, and,
I just hear a blow of air coming from my mouth,
Bewildering on my own behavior,
I am always in search of right words,
Words that can touch the depth of my feelings for you,

How many times, I just say 'Jaan', and,
I start looking at your face,
Without making a moment of delay,
You simply acknowledge me with 'haan jaan',
Like you understand my struggle to say this,
Your eyes showing enormous love for me,
You empathizing me on my inability to say this,
You smile and distract me with my thoughts,

Today with all my efforts, i want to say,
Jaan, I love you, in all the way i can love you.
Each moment of my life is meant to love you,
I don't know anything now but to love you,
Jaan, if you deep dive in my heart,
you will find only you.
Since the moment i met you and till my last breath,
I love you and i will love you.

You are mine ... !!!

O my beloved, You are my world to me,
You mean everything to me,

You fill my heart with love and happiness,
You have given my soul solace and completeness,

You enlighten me with your divine energy,
You hold my hand and walk me to the path to humanity,

I dream more and more with you, and,
Each one of my dream is equally important to you,

You bring all my dreams to existence,
You converge my efforts to my destinations,

You call me with different names,
Each name highlights my personality and attributes,

You stand by me every time i seek for you,
You caresses me like a child, a lover and wife of you,

You keep all your promises, no matter what happens,
I am your topmost priority and you have gained my respect,

You are the one i am getting older with,
You are my life and you are the one i want to die with !!!

I met an angel !!!

I am in love with you,
I confidently, proudly say this,
I smile every time, i say this,
I say this hundreds of times in a day,
Every time with the same passion and same feelings,
Even if i don't say, i still love you,

I want to thank you, that,
You introduced me to the world of love,
Otherwise, i would have never experienced,
this heavenly irresistible beauty of true love,

I was living in an illusion for years, until, 
I met you on that breathtaking starry night,
You came closer to me, and,
Looked into my eyes like never before,
I could feel your breath on mine,
You came a little bit closer and,
Took my hand into yours,
You gently caressed my hand with yours,

I was completely lost in you,
Hypnotized by your divine appearance,
You were still holding my hand, and,
I was looking at you without a blink,
Your face was glowing with an exception,
You looked like an angel in this starry night,

Then, You pulled me towards you,
To whisper something into my ears,
You pointed me in a direction,
and asked me to walk with you,
To discover the new definition of love,
To discover that love is unconditional,
It is beyond the worldly walls of wisdom,
I have been in love with you since that night,
I am still in love with you !!!

Who Am I ?

You have taken my soul with you,
leaving nothing behind in me,
leaving me colorless, with no beauty,
leaving me dumbfounded, clueless,

Yes, am alive,
Yes, am breathing,
Yes, I walk and i talk,
Yes, i do all what i am expected to do,

But, Something has changed in me,
I am not the same person i used to be,
I am different,
I was someone who would say,
I am the way i am, and,
I will not change myself for anyone,
Then, who am i ?
I do not recognize me any more,

I was some body else,
She used to smile, always,
She would burst into laughter on small things,
She would imagine silly things and smile on them,
She loved to build up stories on any topic in the world,
She loved to write,
She loved to dress up,
She was passionate about whatever she does,
She was ambitious and had the willpower to fulfill them,
Then, who am i ?

You not only took my soul from me,
You have taken my heart,
You have taken everything, I had,
My dreams, my passions, my ambitions,
I am no more me,
I am image of someone else !!!

Uljhi Hui Ye Meri Zindagi !!!

Tooti bikhari kuch unkahi, Uljhi hui Apne hi dhago me,

Kat ti jaa rahi hai meri zindagi !!!

Resham jaisi malmali lagti kabhi,
Kabhi khusk khayalo ki tarah ubharati,

Mere hi payal ke ghungroo ke jaisi,
Kabhi tadapti kabhi chanakti meri zindagi !!!

Kabhi to bekauf bin kisi baat hans deti hai,
Duniya ka darr ise satata kabhi,
Kasmkash ke dariya me gote lagati,
Bhawar me fasi, doobti kabhi ubharti meri zindagi !!!

Tooti bikhari kuch unkahi, Uljhi hui Apne hi dhago me,
Dekha to kuch gaanthe pad gayi hai,
Sochati hun kholne ki koshish karun,
Pur dhaage nazuk bahut hain, Kholna hai mujhe inhe dhyaan se,
Phir bhi kuch Dhaage toot Gaye Aur Kuch choot Gaye,
ab wo tute udhade dhaage tadap rahe hain,
Mujhe bula rahe hain,
Thoda Paas jaakar dekha Maine, tab samajh aaya,
Ye mere hi dil ke kuch tukde pade hain,
Kuch tute hue rishtey Aur kuch armaan pade hain !!!

Armaano se saji doli lagti kabhi,
Kabhi band pinjare me kaid chatpatati,
Khule aasmaan me baadlo ke beech,
Kabhi jhilmilati dhoop aur kabhi thandi chaon hai meri zindagi !!!

Pankh lagakar udti kabhi,
Kabhi Ek kadam badane se bhi katraati,
Tere mere is benaam rishtey ki tarah,
Kabhi sajti sawarti Aur kabhi bikharti meri zindagi !!!

Love Never Dies !!!

I am in love with you today,

Though I was in love with you yesterday also,
And, Tomorrow, I might not be here to love you.

I am using this opportunity today to express my feelings for you,
A journey of my passion and gratitude for you.

I want to say,
I have been in love with you, from the moment I saw you,
I loved you madly, desperately, deeply, passionately, Every possible way I could love you,
If you were not around me, I always looked for you,
Each of my heart beat reminds me that it's only you,
You said, move on, I still love you,
You said, I am crazy, I still care for you,
You are within me and I could never separate you.

If I die tomorrow,

Come and hold me tight in your arms,
Give me a kiss on my forehead,
And, say, 
If I get one more life, If it exists as saint say,
Then you would be mine,
You would love me with the same passion i loved you,
You would never keep me waiting,
You would never let me go,
You would realize all my dreams,
You would give me love, care and respect that I missed in this life from you.
You would become my world for me.

If I die tomorrow,

Include me in one of your poem,
Dedicate it to me,
And make me immortal,
Then,
I will be within you and you will be within me, for forever.